the 4th was a good one. Barely worked, partied hard with family, and drove home to fireworks a blast.
Today has been boring. I’ve helped my dad at the storage area, and we’re both excited for the fall semester. I can’t wait to finally be back in San Antonio. Good friends. Good food. Good gym. Good life.
I guess I should talk about the ex? I guess I should say what’s on my mind…but there’s really not much on it. I’ve thought about her on occasion, but I don’t really know her. She let me in so little that the little I saw–I now doubt. Her voice isn’t even the same. Her mind is such a labyrinth that I’m just not going through again. I’m tired of hearing that she’s trying, that I need to be patient, that I’m just a liar, that I’ve got to work for her trust (to get to know her, which is what started all this in the first place), that I’m just a stubborn ass. So I left. I left for good. I don’t want anymore of this sick cycle that I keep falling into (with not just her, but with every girl). I earn their “trust” and then apparently suddenly I turn into this asshole beyond compare. Why stay in something where I’m just put down constantly? I’m sure she’s reading this saying the same thing…but that’s just it. We’re too alike to fit. I know where she’s at. I’ve been there. I’ve gotten myself out and I’m standing here today because of it. But I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. I can’t help someone with a million and a half walls and who continues to build them.
So here I go…not a care in the world. No more worrying about fixing anyone else. It’s time to kick it–kick it into high gear
